It's been a long journey from Delhi to here. I slept in a three bunk sleeper bed, and i had to bend to drink water. Wow! Good thing, some peeps from the train kept me company. I have to tell you about my bunk mate who was so intense, a few minutes after, he was meditating and motionless. He was piercing me and i wouldn't be surprised if he knew what i was thinking. I always say, that people from India look at you at a very special way. When they look at you, you know you will be remembered. Good thing, my timing is perfect. There's a festival here, and i have seen tradition to the core and to the full. When i say there's lots of people here, is a major understatement. I am right here in Varanasi where i've always wanted to go. I am in the holy city of Varanasi and i think my time here is done. I've talked to many people from here, and slowly i am getting the answers i was looking for.
A wise man from India said to me last night while we sat in front of his house that i don't listen. I need to listen first, then think, feel and then i could open my mouth. Such wise words from a man who hasn't even gone to high school. His friend, who's a brilliant story teller, told me his fictional story of Kuri Kora. I am not even sure if the spelling is great but i've been eating the snack everyday. I don't understand half of his story but i knew there is talent in this man.
But one thing i will never forget is that he said to me. Your feet should be the head, the head should be the feet and the feelings/ the heart in the air. He must have sensed how ridiculously hard to understand what he said. He said to me, we've become part of the future and the change, we are left not knowing how it is to be happy and simple.
In Varanasi, the streets become narrow and i lost my money in things that i've always wanted to do. I am at a shitty internet shop in Kisha Guesthouse, directly in front of my room is the temple where they burn bodies. I woke up at around 4AM (i don't have a watch and my cellphone is useless - charging is impossible here) and i've seen smoke coming out of the temple, while the fireworks are carefully laid out one by one. I knew i wouldn't take photos. Imagine if one of your loved ones died, would you want a outsider taking photos? I am ashamed of those tourists who snap a photo for the sake. I went around and always find myself making a gesture before i take any photos.
I have to tell you that as days pass by, i am slowly becoming a part of the world here. Before, people always confuse me for somebody else. Now, people look at me and just smile. This morning i meditated in front of the biggest ghat. I have so many photos, but i am saving my battery for when i go on my next trip somewhere. Last night, i had the weirdest drinking session with three babbas and my good ol' Indian friend. They had whiskey and they were smoking joint, while i drink my Kingfisher (Extra strong at 650 ml), of course. I've spent money on unnecessary things and a lot of people are cons here, too. Yet, i felt i knew this would happen and i let it happen anyway.
Today, i'm quite unsure if i should stay here longer or it's time to move to Rajastan. My job here is done. Oh, by the way, don't tell my mother. I shaved my head today. It was a magical moment that i've always wanted to do. I shaved my head because i had to sacrifice. I want to wash away all my sins. And i knew leaving my hair near the steps of the holy river would somehow cleanse me of my troubles. I had also been blessed by a high priest and chanted words i could not understand. It's a blessing that i owe to my family. I threw a garland in the Ganga river and i left with a promise that i will be back better. I hope my simple feat, they would understand.
I miss home but i am looking forward to more exciting journeys here in India. I am changing and re-born.
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